1 Peter 3:1-2

In 1 Peter 3:1-2 he dives into the topic of marriage. This is certainly an area that has changed over the years, and some will say that Peter’s teaching here is outdated and obsolete. The word submission carries a lot of bad connotations today. Many dismiss it completely. But God had a design for the world, marriages and families that is still valid today. And contrary to what the world says, when we line up with God’s plan for this planet, things work a lot better. When we take things into our own hands, and follow our own or the worlds design, things just don’t go as well. God’s Word is always true, even when we don’t like it.

So Peter begins his teaching telling us that the godly wife will be submissive to her husband. This submission isn’t a reward for the husband’s good behavior; it is the proper order of the home, God commands it. “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” Proper submission in the home follows the same principles of submission as towards government or our employers. It is submission not only of the actions, but also of the heart.

Submission to authority can be totally consistent with equality in importance, dignity, and honor. Jesus was subject to both His parents and to God the Father but was not lower than either of them. Grudem writes “Thus the command to wives to be subject to their husbands should never be taken to imply inferior personhood or spirituality, or lesser importance.” Of course, submission in marriage follows the same principles as submission in other spheres. We submit to God appointed authority as our obligation before God, unless that authority directs us to sin. In that case it is right to obey God rather than men.

Peter carefully observed that wives are called to submit to their own husbands and not to all men in a general sense. Male headship is God’s commanded principle for the home and the church, not for society in general.

The principle of submission is seen in many ways in the New Testament:

• Jesus submitted to His parents (Luke 2:51).
• Demons submitted to the disciples (Luke 10:17).
• Citizens should submit to government authority (Romans 13:1 and 5, Titus 3:1, 1 Peter 2:13).
• The universe will submit to Jesus (1 Corinthians 15:27 and Ephesians 1:22).
• Unseen spiritual beings submit to Jesus (1 Peter 3:22).
• Christians should submit to their church leaders (1 Corinthians 16:15-16 and 1 Peter 5:5).
• Wives should submit to husbands (Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:5, 1 Peter 3:5, and Ephesians 5:22-24).
• The church should submit to Jesus (Ephesians 5:24).
• Servants should submit to masters (Titus 2:9, 1 Peter 2:18).
• Christians should submit to God (Hebrews 12:9, James 4:7).

There must be a servant-like love and attitude on the part of those in positions of authority which does not eliminate the concept of God’s order of authority and the corresponding submission we are called to in many areas of our lives.

“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“

“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”

1 Timothy 4:2-3

In 1 Timothy 4:2-3 Paul continues talking about those who are going to teach and spread lies about the truth. Paul talks about those who depart from the faith. This certainly points to the ones who willingly embrace falsehood to justify their sin or pride; but it also refers to those who claim to teach the Bible, while just using it to support their own ideas or agendas.  “….through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.”

They have lost their conscience and it is seared. Paul refers to the ancient practice of branding a criminal on the forehead with a distinguishing mark. For these liars, it was not their forehead that was branded with a hot iron, but their conscience instead. Their conscience, which at one time would have convicted them of their departure from the truth, now doesn’t reply at all. It is as if the nerve endings of their conscience have been burnt over and are dead to feeling. Paul knew what it was to have a dead, burned conscience. Before he surrendered his life to Jesus Christ on the road to Damascus, he felt completely justified in his persecution of Christians and hatred of Jesus.

These liars were legalistically teaching as ones departed from the faith. They taught that it was by following this list of man-made rules that one was justified in God’s sight – that you would be more holy to God if you didn’t marry, and if you did not eat certain foods. We often think that if we sacrifice something for God (such as the right to marry or to eat certain foods), then He owes us something. This is legalism at its worst; trying to manipulate God into giving us something. The idea is that we can make God indebted to us, make Him our servant and make ourselves His master. In this we fulfill the original doctrine of demons – that we should be gods.

Calvin wrote “The controversy is not about flesh or fish, or about black or ashen colours, or about Wednesday or Friday, but about the mad superstitions of men who wish to obtain God’s favour by such trifles and by contriving a carnal worship, invent for themselves an idol in God’s place.” It’s not how God words. We cannot manipulate Him by anything we do. God created marriage and the foods that these liars were trying to forbid. Countless millions through the centuries have sought to sacrifice something, and make God owe them blessing, or forgiveness, or mercy, or whatever. It is not how God works!

“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“

“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”

Malachi 2:15b-17

In Malachi 2:15b-17 we continue to see the importance of marriage based on God’s expectations. We are called to faithfulness and commitment within marriage. “So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.” There is a need for individuals to be vigilant in maintaining the sanctity and integrity of their marital commitment. We are to remain loyal and devoted to our spouse throughout the duration of our marriage, especially in the early years when the bond is formed. Marriage matters in God’s eyes. It was His idea and design and we need to treat it as such.

God next addresses divorce. There is no doubt that God hates divorce because it destroys what He loves – marriage is the LORD’s holy institution which He loves. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Guzik shares that “God hates divorce for at least three reasons:

• God hates divorce because it breaks a solemn vow.
• God hates divorce because it is harmful.
• God hates divorce because it illustrates apostasy and damnation.”

Guzik further explains “There is no doubt that God allows divorce in particular circumstances, though divorce is never commanded. God’s heart is always for repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation in marriage. We have sinned against God far worse than any spouse could sin against us, and God does not divorce us – though He has every right to. Yet because we are fallen and suffer from hardness of heart, God gives permission for divorce in two circumstances. Sexual immorality is valid grounds (Matthew 19:1-9), and so is desertion by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-16).

The people of God in Malachi’s day were depressed and discouraged because it seemed like the wicked prospered and had it better than the godly. This filled them with doubt and unbelief, and they grumbled. “You have wearied the Lord with your words. But you say, “How have we wearied him?” By saying, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.” Or by asking, “Where is the God of justice?” This kind of ignorant, unbelieving talk from God’s people is wearisome to God. It shows how much His people resist His truth and His work. We will likely never understand God and His ways, but we can rest that His ways are good and just and someday we’ll see it from His viewpoint.

“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“

“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”

Malachi 2:13-15a

In Malachi 2:13-15a  we see the second thing that offends God. “And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.” The neglected and divorced wives of the priests came and wept at God’s altar. When their priestly husbands then offered sacrifice to God at the same altar it offended God. Kell wrote “They cover the altar of Jehovah with tears, namely, by compelling the wives who have been put away to lay their trouble before God in the sanctuary.” God cares about marriage, and He expects it to be done His way.

The priests sinned by forsaking the wife they married in their youth, by breaking the goal of marriage (she is your companion) and by breaking the bond of marriage (your wife by covenant). “But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” Clark explained “They kept their wives till they had passed their youth, and then put them away, that they might get young ones in their place.” The priests were using women for their own satisfaction and not treating them as married by covenant.

Guzik explains “The Bible continually points back to God’s goal and plan for marriage as revealed in Genesis 2:18-25. Fundamental to God’s plan for marriage is the essential oneness between husband and wife. One important reason for this oneness is to establish a proper environment for raising godly offspring.” “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?” God’s design for marriage is for oneness. The union between a husband and wife is not merely a human institution; it is divinely ordained. It suggests that God is actively involved in bringing two individuals together in a marital union.

“And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.” One of the purposes of marriage from a biblical standpoint – the procreation and upbringing of godly offspring. The idea is that the union of husband and wife is meant to be a context in which children are raised in a manner that honors and pleases God. The emphasis is on the spiritual and moral development of the next generation within the family unit. We see here the biblical perspective on marriage as a sacred union created by God. It is based on faithfulness, the involvement of the Spirit in the marital union, and the purpose of raising godly offspring. It serves as a reminder of the divine expectations for marital relationships and the responsibilities that come with them.

“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“

“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”

Malachi 11b-12

In Malachi 11b-12 we continue to see just how important marriage is to God. “For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.” Guzik explains “When we sin by breaking our marriage vows or by taking God’s gift of marriage lightly, we sin against an institution that God has established. Marriage is God’s idea, not man’s; He formed and established the first marriage as a pattern for every one afterwards (Genesis 2:20-25). Because it is an institution, we are not allowed to define marriage in any way that pleases us; God has established marriage and we must conform to what He has established.”

Guzik continues “When we sin by breaking our marriage vows or by taking God’s gift of marriage lightly, we sin against something that God loves.

• God loves marriage for what it displays about His relationship with us.
• God loves marriage for the good it does in society.
• God loves marriage for the way it meets the needs of men, women, and children.
• God loves marriage as a tool for conforming His people into the image of His Son.”

But Judah messed up. They were marrying the ungodly that lived near them and it was not acceptable to God. They have violated their covenant with God. Guzik explains “The first treachery and abomination God addressed was the intermarriage between the people of God and their ungodly neighbors. The dangers of an ungodly intermarriage are well documented in the Old and New Testaments.

• Israel married women from Moab and brought the curse of God upon the people (Numbers 25).
• Solomon married foreign women who took his heart away from God (1 Kings 11:1-10).
• Ahab married Jezebel – a foreign woman given over to pagan gods – who led Israel into new depths of depravity (1 Kings 16:29-33).
• Paul says that believers and unbelievers should not be joined together (2 Corinthians 6:11-18).”

Is God serious about this command? He promised to punish the priests who married foreign, pagan wives and thought that it would not affect their service to the LORD. “May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!” God’s command against mixed marriages in Israel had nothing to do with race, but with faith. There is even a foreign wife in the genealogy of Jesus – Ruth was a Moabite who married a Jewish man named Boaz but she forsook Moab’s gods for the LORD. This is a matter of faith and not being pulled away from a right relationship with God.

“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“

“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”

Proverbs 5:1-4

In Proverbs 5:1-4 Solomon tackles a delicate subject directly warning his son against adultery. He begins by telling his son to pay attention and listen to his instruction. He tries to get his son to listen and learn. “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.” Ross explains that wisdom is “A man-to-man warning to avoid liaisons with loose women, a theme that is fairly common in the wisdom literature of the ancient Near East.” Solomon is tackling a real time concern in his day, that continues to this very day. If we ever gain discretion, it is very difficult to preserve and continue.

There is a deep allure to an immoral woman. “For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.” Guzik explains “Solomon here focused on the immoral woman, but it was not because he thought that men are always moral, or that it is mainly immoral women who seduce and corrupt moral men. Solomon – the author of the Song of Solomon – was far too wise and astute in the ways of romance and sexuality to believe that. Solomon focused on the immoral woman because he wrote this to his son and sensed this was his greatest and closest moral danger.”

Let’s face it, the use of alluring women is certainly part of western culture today. The advertising world knows very well how effective that attraction can be. In Solomon’s day some women had the ability to attract and allure men with the sweetness of honey and the pleasantness of oil. Operating outside the covenant of marriage, some of these women used that ability for their own advantage. They might gain something emotional, something material, something sensual, something romantic, or other potential gains. These women were a danger to be warned against. It was never as it appeared – there was always a motive behind it.

Solomon contrasts the difference between honey, which is sweet, and wormwood which is bitter. The sweetness of this woman quickly turns to bitterness and is compared to a two edged sword. Morgan wrote “It is a change from honey to wormwood, from the smoothness of oil to the sharpness of a sword, from the path of life to the highway of death.” The outcome becomes painful and what seemed so appealing on the outside quickly turns to something one will regret. Ross writes “The image of the two-edged sword, literally a sword with more than one mouth, signifies that a liaison with this woman brings pain and destruction.” Unfortunately Solomon didn’t heed his own advice, but makes clear for his son and the rest of us that there is a price to pay for this kind of pleasure.

1 Peter 3:3-6

In 1 Peter 3:3-6 he talks about how a godly woman should adorn herself. Peter does not forbid adornment, but for a godly woman his guidance is outward adornment in moderation with the emphasis placed on inward beauty! “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” According to William Barclay, in the world Peter lived women often arranged and dyed their hair. They also wore wigs, especially blonde wigs made with hair imported from Germany. Peter had this in mind speaking of the adornment that is merely outward. Peter did not forbid a woman fixing her hair, or wearing jewelry, any more than he forbade her wearing apparel (fine is not in the original)

Real beauty comes from the hidden person of the heart. It isn’t something you wear or put on in front of a mirror. It is something you are. The real question is “What do you depend on to make yourself beautiful?” Peter’s point is not that any of these are forbidden, but that they should not be a woman’s adornment, the source of her true beauty. Instead he encourages a godly woman to one focused on her inner beauty which doesn’t change with age. In fact, it only gets better over time and therefore has much greater value than the beauty that comes from the hair, jewelry, or clothing.

Peter described the character of true beauty – a gentle and quiet spirit. These character traits are not promoted for women by our culture today; yet they are very precious in the sight of God. He goes on to give examples of submission from history. Peter reminds women that he did not call them to a new standard; but to something that was practiced by holy women of former times. “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

When women submit to their husbands and when they do not put trust in their outward adornment, they are like the holy women of former times who trusted in God. They powerfully demonstrate their faith. Guzik explains “A woman can trust her own ability to influence and control her husband, or she can trust God and be submissive. A woman can trust her outward beauty and adornment, or she can trust God and cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit. It all comes back to trust in God.” Grudem explains further “An attitude of submission to a husband’s authority will be reflected in numerous words and actions each day which reflect deference to his leadership and an acknowledgment of his final responsibility.” Submission is designed as a way to protect and puts the responsibility on the husband to love and care for his wife.

Colossians 3:17-18

In Colossians 3:17-18 Paul reminds us of one of the most important traits of a Christ Follower – as a new person in Him, we need to live ALL of life for Jesus. There is no compartment Jesus fits in. As a believer, we live 24/7/365 with and for Jesus. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Note that Paul says ‘whatever’ we do – be it words or actions – we need to do it representing Jesus. And as we do, we must never forget that God has given us the greatest gift of all in salvation through Christ’s death, and our life should be filled with gratitude for His love.

Paul then tackles what marriage looks like as a new person in Christ. He begins with an unpopular view in today’s world – a submissive wife. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Submit is a military word that literally means “to be under in rank.” It speaks of the way that an army is organized among levels of rank, with generals and colonels and majors and captains and sergeants and privates. There are levels of rank, and one is obligated to respect those in higher rank. A wife doesn’t necessarily submit to her husband because he deserves it. She submits because he is her husband and in God’s order for the family, that is her role.

The idea of submission doesn’t have anything to do with someone being smarter or better or more talented. It has to do with a God-appointed order. Wiersbe explained that “Anyone who has served in the armed forces knows that ‘rank’ has to do with order and authority, not with value or ability.” Submission means you are part of a team. If the family is a team, then the husband is “captain” of the team. The wife has her place in relation to the “captain,” and the children have their place in relation to the “captain” and the wife. It is not slavery, or being a doormat to your husband. It is literally coming under the protection of the husband – who with the place in God’s plan for leadership – also takes the responsibility.

Vaughan explains “The form of the verb (hypotassesthe, middle voice) shows that the submission is to be voluntary. The wife’s submission is never to be forced on her by a demanding husband; it is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that her home (just as any other institution) must have a head, gladly shows.” The Bible never commands nor recommends a general submission of women unto men, only in the home or in the church. Paul tells us that submission needs to be ‘fitting’. That does not define the extent of a wife’s submission. It does not define the limit of a wife’s submission. It defines the motive of a wife’s submission.

Guzik explains “There are exceptions to this command for a wife to submit to her own husband.

• When the husband asks the wife to sin, she must not submit.
• When the husband is medically incapacitated, insane, or under the influence of mind altering substances, the wife may not submit.
• When the husband is violent and physically threatening, the wife may not submit.
• When the husband breaks the marriage bond by adultery, they wife does not need to submit to her husband being in an adulterous relationship.”

Ephesians 5:31-33

In Ephesians 5:31-33 Paul wraps up his teaching to the Ephesian church (and us) on the topic of marriage. Paul quotes what God wrote way back in the Garden at the creation of marriage in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Relevant to marriage today, it shows that just as the first man and the first woman were one – she was taken from him, and then brought back to him – so it could be said of every married man today that he is joined to his wife. God does the joining. Husbands can resent it, they can resist it, they can ignore it, but it doesn’t change the fact. In marriage we become ONE.

Guzik explains Paul’s teaching to wives as he did to husbands. “Paul gave three reasons for a Christian wife’s submission to her husband. In addressing the Christian husbands, Paul also gave three reasons to love their wife:

i. First, they should love their wife this way because this is what love is. Paul indicates this in Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives.

ii. Second, they should love their wife this way because the relationship between husband and wife has a pattern: the relationship of Jesus and His church. Paul indicates this in Ephesians 5:25-29: Just as Christ also loved the church… So husbands ought to love their own wives… just as the Lord does the church.

iii. The third reason is found in Ephesians 5:28-32. The Christian husband must love his wife this way because you are one with her, just as Jesus is one with the church.”

There is a fundamental principle for promoting oneness in marriage: there must be a leaving (of former associations) and a cleaving (joining together as one). Often we think of the leaving as being from our parents, but it can be much more than that. We must get rid of anything that will prevent us from becoming one with our wife. Anything, and everything, that might get in the way. And while we often wrongly think that this passage in Genesis is about only a husband and wife, it also speaks about the relationship between Christ and the church. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Paul really taught on two things at once. He teaches about marriage, but he also teaches about God’s pattern for marriage – the relationship between Jesus and His people. We need to get rid of things that prevent us from truly being one with Jesus!

Paul continues anre reminds us of the basics of marriage. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Everyone is included in Paul’s teaching around marriage. There are no passes or excuses. If Paul’s message in this great passage could be boiled down to two principles which must govern our thinking and our actions as married people, those two are:

• Husbands: Understand that you and your wife are one, are a unity which means love
• Wives: Understand that your unity has a head – your husband which means submission

Guzik points out that we often focus on the wrong things related to God’s plan for marriage:

• “Wives are quick to embrace and understand the husband’s principle (love your wife), and they want that to be the governing principle of the marriage.
• Husbands are quick to embrace and understand the wife’s principle (submit to your husband), and they want that to be the governing principle of the marriage.
• But we must let our principle govern us. When you have a husband thinking, “I’m one with my wife, and I must think and act that way,” and a wife thinking, “My husband is the head of our oneness, and I need to respect and defer to him as the head,” then you will have a healthy, Biblical marriage.”

Ephesians 5:26-30

In Ephesians 5:26-30 Paul continues explaining the power of a husband loving his wife as Christ loves the church. This love is not sexual or sensual in nature but far deeper. It is to look like this according to Paul: “….that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” When Jesus gave Himself for the church on the cross, it also provided cleansing from every stain sin makes. Guzik explains “Obviously, a husband cannot spiritually cleanse his wife the same way Jesus cleanses the church. Yet a husband can take an active, caring interest in his wife’s spiritual health. As the priest of the home, he helps her keep “clean” before the Lord.”

He goes on to explain “This means that Jesus Himself shares His prospects, His future with His bride. A Christian husband should also share his prospects and future with his wife. Even as a wife will share in the husband’s future, so we will share in the glorious future of our Lord.” As husband and wife we become one flesh which means a sharing of all things together, as one. Part of a husband loving his wife the way Christ loved the church is to be honest and transparent in every way, leading well spiritually and making sure his wife and their family are being led in a way pleasing to the Lord. The husband should lead his family so they are holy and free from sin.

Paul goes on to tell husbands another thing they are charged to do. “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” The single word ‘as’ is important. Paul did not say, “So ought men to love their wives in the same way as they love their bodies.” That would be an improvement in many cases, but that is not the meaning. The meaning is, “So ought men to love their wives because they are their own bodies.” A man must love his wife as he would his body, as a part of himself. Lloyd Jones explains “The husband must realize that his wife is a part of himself. He will not feel this instinctively; he has to be taught it; and the Bible in all its parts teaches it. In other words, the husband must understand that he and his wife are not two: they are one.”

Any man in his right mind is going to take care of his own flesh, even if it is just in the sense of feeding and clothing and caring for his own body. He knows that if he doesn’t, he is going to suffer for it. In the same way, once we know the Biblical fact of this unity, if we are in our right minds we will nourish and cherish our wives because she is part of us. “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” Guzik explains “The principle of oneness also is dominant in the relationship between Jesus and His people.

• There is oneness of life: We share the same vital resurrection life that resides in Jesus Himself.
• There is oneness of service: We are privileged to be co-workers with our Lord.
• There is oneness of feeling: Jesus feels a unique sympathy with us, and we feel a unique sympathy with Him.
• There is oneness of mutual necessity: We cannot exist without Him and He cannot exist without us, in the sense that a redeemer is not a redeemer without any redeemed; a savior is not a savior without any saved
• There is oneness of nature: The same genetic code links us with our Savior, and we are partakers of the divine nature
• There is oneness of possession: We share in the riches of His glory both now and in the age to come
• There is oneness of present condition: When our Savior is lifted high, so are His people with Him.
• There is oneness of future destiny: We will be glorified with Him.”

Marriage is oneness between a husband and wife. We must work to make that the priority in our relationship with our spouse just as Jesus did with His church.