In 1 Peter 3:7a he instructs husbands. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel….” A godly husband lives with his wife. He doesn’t merely share a house, but he truly lives with her. He recognizes the great point of Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5: that “husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28). The godly husband understands the essential unity or oneness God has established between husband and wife.
Peter charges the godly husband to understand his wife. I’m not sure there is a more difficult assignment in all of scripture. By knowing her well, he is able to demonstrate his love for her far more effectively. We have to become a student of our wife – to take the time to listen and work to understand. When a husband has this understanding, God directs him to use it in that he is to dwell with his wife with understanding. He is supposed to take his understanding and apply it in daily life with his wife. This is where many men have trouble following through. They may have understanding about their wives, but they don’t use it as they dwell with them.
A godly husband knows how to make his wife feel honored. Though she submits to him, he takes care that she does not feel like she is an employee or under a tyrant. This was a radical teaching in the world Peter lived in. In that ancient culture a husband had absolute rights over his wife and the wife had virtually no rights in the marriage. In the Roman world, if a man caught his wife in an act of adultery he could kill her on the spot. But if a wife caught her husband, she could do nothing against him. All the duties and obligations in marriage were put on the wife. Peter’s radical teaching is that the husband has God-ordained duties and obligations toward his wife.
In this context weaker speaks of the woman’s relative physical weakness in comparison to men. Men aren’t necessarily stronger spiritually than women, but they are generally stronger physically. As Peter brought in the idea of the woman’s feminine nature with the words the wife, he continues in appreciating the feminine nature and how a husband should respond to it. A godly husband recognizes whatever limitations his wife has physically and he does not expect more from her than is appropriate and kind. The husband is the stronger of the two and as such needs to do the heavy lifting!
“Portions of this blog post have been taken from the Enduring Word commentary, (c) 2023 The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – ewm@enduringword.com“
“Scripture (bold and italicized) has been taken from the English Standard Version, © ESV.org – www.esv.org”
Arlin Sorensen's Thoughts on Scripture 