Today wraps up the last reading from the love completely section of the OMTL book. And it is one that many of us struggle with – being willing to reveal our heart. Really let people see who we are and get a glimpse into our inner being. The problem in relationships is almost always around communication. We do it poorly, we don’t listen well, we aren’t complete in what we share – it causes frustration and then division and then things fall apart. And a big part of that comes down to a willingness to be transparent. We say things that are not explained and leave it up to the other person to figure out our motive or the basis for our comments. That sometimes happens because we don’t want to let them see what we are really thinking and the basis of our responses. We don’t want to be transparent from the heart. In my case, the problem is often I don’t really listen all that well. Since my 26 year old daughter was old enough to care if her daddy was listening, Laurie discovered early on she needed to help me focus in order to get me to listen. She used to get up early in the morning (which Nancy didn’t really like all that much), pop into our room and climb up on top of me and open my eyes with your little finger and ask “daddy are you in there”. At the time it was annoying and aggravating and I didn’t always respond at 5 or 5:30 AM with the love I should have. But she learned early on by my actions that I didn’t always seem focused on our interaction. She moved next to grabbing my face with both her hands and turning my head to look her in the eye. Still does that today on occasion when I am not paying attention. It does work – it gets me focused and causes me to see and understand that what she is doing and saying is important and I need to pay attention.
I tend to get distracted extremely easily. My attention chases the activity that is happening wherever I am. If there is a TV blaring, a radio playing, people moving around – I struggle to stay tuned in. If I am at my desk the guilt tells me I need to be multi-tasking (which we all know men cannot do at all) while on the phone with someone. After all, there is a mountain of paperwork that needs to be done. I have gotten to the point that when there is a call that needs my attention I move out from behind my desk to the other side where I can’t see the computer, or reach anything that is calling for me to get it done. Sort of a sad state of affairs that I can’t discipline myself better than that, but it is a confession – I fail here often. Does it matter? We have no idea just how important those interactions are. When we don’t return phone calls, we blow off emails, we treat people like they don’t exist – that sends a strong signal about our heart. When we only give them half our attention or lend only a partial ear, we tell them they really aren’t worth the time. And the danger to all that is that we are called to be the eyes and ears and arms and legs of the Father to touch people for eternity. How many will want to hear the message of Jesus when they find out that we are a Christian but treat them poorly? How many will line up to learn more about Jesus when they discover that how we live is their understanding of what being a believer is? Folks – we have a very important mission – a critical role in ministry – to be an extension of God’s love to the world. But not in some big macro way – in one on one and family and small group relationships dozens of times each day. We have to learn now to engage people from the heart. That means we are willing to expose our own shortcomings. I have some and many of you know them. The list is actually pretty long. But I have to be willing to risk my worry about what people will think to let them see Jesus in me. And that only happens when I connect through communication. Takes many forms – has many looks – but we have to get eyeball to eyeball and be real with those around us. You willing to go there? I hope so!
Posted by asorensen 
